Getting Old (PG Version)

This is the year.  No, not just any year.  This is the year I hit the half century mark.  I don’t feel it.  Not having lived in anyone else s body before, it seems to feel about right.  I will try and note what is different than it was 30 years ago (or 20, but maybe not 5):

  • Bifocals:  Most days I almost don’t notice the switch I made to these special lenses.  Did I say “Bi-focals”?  I meant “Tri-focals”.  I don’t wear contacts; I only wear the lenses.  Most times the eyes feel like the eyes of a few decades ago.  A recent book I was reading on the kindle has VERY small print.  If reading in bed, I had to lean up and tilt my head back to get the right part of the lenses on the text.  “The” special lenses are a little humbling.  As aging goes, I don’t have any other optic concerns.
  • Bathroom visits:  Fortunately, I don’t have many sleeping problems.  (One will be noted shortly.)  Unless you count me enjoying a big glass of tea after 6:00.  If I do this, sleeping isn’t the problem, but sleeping the whole night is not likely to be unlikely.  Around 2:00 I wander into the bathroom.  If I am lucky, my brain never woke up.  If I am unlucky (and the more likely), my brain has a series of random thoughts fro 30 minutes or so.  (Random thoughts means there is brain activity–a good thing.  AND, something that has been taking place in this declining body for all of the nearly 5 decades I have been neglecting it.  Should I be doing daily brain exercises as I age or does bantering with the kids count?)
  • Spices:  It just doesn’t sit as easily as it used to sit.  If it is too spicy, all parts of my digestive tract are likely to voice their individual displeasure.  I sometimes think, “I shouldn’t was these peppers that come with our fajitas.”  A couple hours afterward, I realize wasting was the MUCH smarter choice.
  • Caffeine:  I used to be able to have a few cups of coffee in the morning.  The only downside was the taste quality deteriorated as I hit cup 3.  Recently, I have found having 2 cups of coffee puts me MUCH more on edge.  I am ready to leap through the phone with no explanation beyond being over-caffeine-stimulated.  So, if I consider doing 2 cups on any given day, I need to put an hour or more between them.  Sniff, Sniff.  At least, tea seems to treat an almost “old” person with more respect!
  • Ear plugs:  This has been a phenomenon of the past couple of years.  With very few exceptions (one of those absolute exhaustion), ear plugs keep me brain from being excessively active.  Not that I sleep in a bed with anyone who ever snores, but if I did, having something to mute the sound would certainly be a good thing.  The obvious answer is as I have aged my brain has become a more efficient machine that sees sleep as just a luxury for the young and mentally deficient.  Regardless, I prefer to indulge in regular sleep to try and keep this bag of bones operating long enough to allow time for the grey matter to work out its deep and world-changing thoughts.
  • Cracking joints:  They always cracked some
  • Vitamins:  Have taken them nearly all of my life.  Now, they have titles like “50 plus” or mention helping with “male menopause”  (or would it just be womenopause?).  They have things to combat joint issues, prostate issues, and all of the issues that I didn’t want to think about when I was much younger.
  • Ears:  I have not checked my ear lobes, but I have read they lengthen as we age.  My ears now need shaved/plucked quite frequently.  I am really not a fan of the part of the program.  However, it is nothing a quick glance in the mirror and a couple of strong fingers can’t fix.

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