Snow Conspiracy Theory

(Again, me editing ability (as dismal as it may be) has precluded my life.  If there are pictures of snow when it is warm and sunny out, it likely is not you, it is me playing “publish the old drafts”.  Since this one was started in late February of 2015, it might be a little dated…)



As I stared at all of the snow coming down, I thought fondly of some of the beautiful snowflakes I had seen growing up.  Great, big bountiful snowflakes!  Some as big as the tip of your little finger.  And, although the average size was quite a bit smaller, I remember distinctly an orbital or spherical shape to them. Whether the circular shapes have been exhausted or Texas flat out refuses to allow them in the state is not known for sure.  What I do know is the snow I was pelted by today was not normal!

It was like this snow was the result of a block of ice being ran through a cheese grater—a VERY fine cheese grater!  The “snow needles” or snow straws or whatever they were had lots of company in north Texas today.  Whatever created this snow seemed to be only creating one variety today.  Just like in art class, only one type of snow flake is created.  How exciting would it be if you folded the paper all over during art class while you were in elementary school and all you had when you were done was a hollow roll of paper?  Not very!  The circular stereotype for snowflakes runs deep.  The orbital snowflake lobby has been contributing money for years to the art teachers retirement fund.  Like the “flat earthers” of old, the “round only” flakers are content to allow the facts (actual touchable snowflakes that readily refute their bias toward spherical flakes) to lie right out there in the open.

The orbital snowflake lobby usually  has a very easy job in the southern states. (If they don’t see flakes, they will believe what they see rather than asking their science teacher for the truth.)  When the occasional snow storm does hit a place like north Texas, they have systems in place to close the schools down immediately.  When the schools are shut down, the curious minds might are prevented from asking questions about snowflakes in a public setting.  If a question is asked of Google, it will only cite answers on the internet.  (Yes, Google does sometimes do funky things to search results.)  And, everyone knows the internet can provide any answer you want based on how you ask the questions.  So, the lies are protected when asked outside of the classroom.

In the north, they get so much snow.  They don’t have time to look at individual snowflakes.  Their curiosity is  never sufficiently aroused to really ask these type of questions.  All the kids in the north see is another driveway or sidewalk to shovel.  They don’t see the uniqueness or beauty of individual flakes.  So, the super-secret snow flake lobby is largely unconcerned with any rumors developing to dismiss the “orbital” snowflake shape theory.  (Not a theory, but without serious questions asked, it has become one of those assumptions rarely questioned–practically a part of our society…like the theory of evolution….;-)

Regardless of what form it arrives in or what it does to school schedules, it has been great to be visited by this old friend from the north a few times this year.  He and his companions (freezing rain & wind) made life a little more interesting and memorable this year.  Even if I will never look at a paper snowflake again, it well worth sacrificing an “urban legend” to be a kid again–even for a few moments.


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