I haven’t posted in awhile. I am not writing to feed the need of the many “awesome” fans who have demanded it. I am writing to justify in my own mind the presence of this blog. If my name is on it, I need to check in and address substantial gaps in my postings. Since resolutions to “Post More” didn’t work, I am going to run thru my excuses and evaluate what achievable goals are available.
As the fall unfolded last year (Was it just 3 months ago? Saying “last year” makes it sound like it was over 12 months ago. The older you get, the more costly the loss of one month let alone a whole year.), the distractions of life made it very difficult to secure the time to write something relevant. I have continued to write/think/generate ideas. I consider this a very healthy thing. The difficulty has been gathering enough related thoughts. The moments of creative thought have not aligned with the moments where I am parked in my chair with the computer available.
What were those distractions? Let me list a few…
- Employment – We can probably agree on the need to have an income. Do to circumstances beyond our control, the long-term clarity of this need was put in jeopardy. Attempting to steer our way thru this foggy future has pulled time from other pursuits. So, even when the computer is ready for input, I was often thinking foggy thoughts.
- Family – This is not as distracting or as dire as it may sound. As has been our habit for a number of years, we often find our home serving as a residence to more than those who are related by blood. We added one last year (this happened in 2015, but it seems too recent to say 2 years ago) and we added his brother to our home this fall. While we have limited cars available, we now had another person who needs to be taxied to work. This was less problematic until just after the last post. Within a week of the last post, one of our vehicles became a pile of metal, and all we received was a small check.
- Life* – Everyone has life, but life* must be something different. And, since the “squared” doesn’t make typing “life2” with a superscript 2 very easy, I will just go forward with the “*”. Besides driving extra, my daughter is in the middle of robotics season. I granted permission to being called a “judge” this year. So, I attend all of her meets and make sure the robots fit into the 18″ x 18″ x 18″ box. (I also make sure they can connect with the brain of the robot. And, it is good to see lots of zip ties.) Also, it seems we are making LOTS of food. This is not just because we have 7 sitting down for most meals. We are also trying to help a family down the street who has health problems. If we are making a big crockpot of something, we might give them half. Or, we have also been known to make them a meal completely different from what we are eating. Another part of our present life seems to be an excessive number of trips to the grocery store. Too many separate lists and too little certainty on what ingredients are needed to be gathered until the morning of the meal.
- Mid-life crisis – Maybe it is just me. I try and tell myself everyone within 5 or 10 years of my age has frequent moments where they ask, “Why am I here and why do my goals seem to need to be adjusted on a yearly or even quarterly basis?” As I attempt to find the proper stride for this decade of my life, I am still filled with a serious of doubts: which path is the right one for me?; did I miss the fork in the path I was meant to take?; and, do I want to know how many decades I have left so I can make the best use of my time remaining? I often reflect on my “resolutions” toward the end of the year. Even my loosely configured resolutions are often left unfilled when reviewed by the most generous (or should that be “less forgiving”?) of judges–myself. I don’t want to fail, but I seem to fail to use the tools available to remind me of my goals. Or, is my lack of success more a criticism of failing to make good goals? Hmmmm…this free will thing is fraught will peril!!
- Holidays – I don’t recall being surprised by the holiday season this year…or any previous year. I believe I am participating in a bit of “piling on”. If I have 4 legitimate excuses for failing to maintain a personal commitment, then what is one more. Between traveling and the other social activities of the season, this “excuse” might be the most accurate of any.
When the whole thing is boiled down, two conclusions are clear: I either am not committed to writing or I am a poor planner. Depending on the day, the answer may vary–either conclusion hurts my feelings a little bit. 😦