You Have Changed

We all change, and life has taught all of us lessons.  I know I have changed, too. When a decade or two or more pass between your time in high school and those friends you infrequently now interact with, a casual meeting will not allow them to see anything beyond the superficial.  A quick non-discerning glance will show I have most of my hair and I weigh in the same neighborhood—give or take a patio—that I weighed in a high school.  A conversation will show you more.

• Parenting changes you:  Until you are a parent, you only have a hint of what it takes to be one.  On top of our own children, we had foster children, exchange students, and random other children or young adults who volunteered to be subjected to our special form of life.  Not every guest left of their own volition, but we didn’t lose anyone.  Not every problem can be solved, and if is is solved not everyone is going to be happy.  We accepted it, and we were better parents for it.
• I am security motivated and not money motivated:  Prior to getting married, I was certain is wanted to be “rich.”  In the decades since, I found I was targeting the wrong type of rich.  My middle-aged rich is, “having what I need for today plus assurance I will have enough for a few days after that.”  Once you have achieved that goal, you can either desire more, or you can become content.  Once you are content, it is more difficult to “owned” (i.e. employed) by someone who values your time far less than you value it.
• Giving back has a variety of flavors:  Once you accept your daily blessed, regardless of your circumstances in that moment, you want to be part of the solution.  For my family, that has taken a variety of forms.  As noted above, we have done parenting on a variety of levels.  Although we sometimes faltered, God loved all the children in our house.  As the parents, our non-biological kids and biological kids kept us challenged.  We tried to see each kid like God saw them, but it was not always easy.  Any Christian can likely say, “I should do more.”, but we have tried to be proactive in our missions.  There is no shortage of people who need Good News.   We seek to reach those we are uniquely qualified to serve.
• Marriage can get better every year:  Not every day of our marriage has been a home run, but year over year, we continue to grow together.  We both have committed to work on it.  I may not be pulling my weight yet, but I try harder every day.
• It is okay not to like everyone:  As a Christian, we need to be respectful of everyone.  This does not mean that everyone acts respectfully.  We should, “Do unto others as we would have them do to us.”  But, not every person you meet is meant to be your best friend.  If a person doesn’t bring out your best and you don’t like who you are around them, you need to stay focused on being your best you…even if you are temporarily disappointed in yourself.
• You are never too old to take on a new and challenging project:  It seems like I have been trying to learn a language for more than half my life.  It is a combination of not fully committing and not having the right method.  Fingers-crossed the present method will work.  I prefer not to paint or do some other projects around the house.  When I realize the money saved, I put my reluctance on the shelf.  This blog is also an example of this.  I have made multiple runs of being consistent in posting.  If anyone is reading this, they are taking part in a double-digit attempt to reboot it.  And, I am old enough to risk boring you to death recounting all of my other projects that did not come to a satisfactory conclusion.  Tomorrow’s project will be redemption.  d
• I have strong political opinions, but I only talk about them if invited:  If we were to meet, my goal would be friendship.  But, if you can only talk about politics and this politics differ from mine, than the conversation would end quickly.  If we both agree politicians are self-serving regardless of their policies, we would have a point of agreement.  If we would continue talking about politics, then some issues may come up.  The purpose of bringing up these issues is not to convert the other person to your opinion, it is to find points of agreement within the issue–the gray points.  However, I read a lot, so I am pretty sure we could have a conversation and only tangentially touch on politics.